Pirate Love

People ask why I write about sex. Well I'm definitely not a certified expert on the subject but I like it. I have it. I'd like to get more. Orgasms are great; we should have more of them. Boobs - they rock. And having someone let you stick parts of yourself inside of them is a pretty good deal. Even hugs are pretty kickass (especially if they involve boobs). Sex is all kinds of awesome for the most part. I mean, we all keep going back for it don't we?

Come to think of it though, sex is a bit of an asshole. It really screws some people over. Look at ex lovers - it still comes as a surprise to find out how many of them are fucking psychopaths. They may have seemed on the level & the sex might have been great. But now your windshield is broken, your voicemail is filled with the sound of hysterical sobbing & your cat is dead. Sex did that. If you'd kept it in your pants Cuddles would probably still be alive. How many times have you had to lie back while some doctor with cold hands pokes around your genitals because you picked up some stranger in a bar & now it burns when you pee? And you can't say that you haven't picked up a 11 the night before, only to discover in the cold harsh light of day that it was actually two 1's standing next to each other.

Fuck it. Sometimes sex leaves you wandering naked in a snowstorm, bleeding profusely from the head & wondering what the fuck just happened. Sex is a sick, sadistic bastard when it turns you around & nails you in the ass.




Still, I stand by the 'awesome' part. Then again if you know the guys I date you know I'm usually not good at learning from my mistakes either.